How to Drink Less Without Quitting: The Complete Guide

By Tansy Forrest, Clinical Hypnotherapist & Author of Ten Steps to Drink Less and Live Well

Why “All or Nothing” Isn’t the Only Way

For decades, conversations about alcohol have been dominated by extremes: you either drink freely or you quit entirely. But for millions of people who fall somewhere in between — those who overdrink occasionally, binge socially, or simply feel that alcohol has taken up too much headspace — there’s another way.

You can drink less without quitting.

You can still enjoy a glass of wine with dinner, a beer at a celebration, or champagne on your birthday — while maintaining control, confidence, and clarity.

In this guide, drawn from Ten Steps to Drink Less and Live Well, we’ll explore the science, psychology, and step-by-step strategies to help you create a healthier relationship with alcohol — one that aligns with your values, enhances your wellbeing, and gives you back your freedom.

Understanding the Moderation Mindset

“Moderation isn’t about restriction — it’s about liberation.” — Ten Steps to Drink Less and Live Well

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve already felt the discomfort of imbalance — waking up tired, guilty, or simply fed up with how much alcohol occupies your mind. You might not identify as an “alcoholic,” but you know something needs to change.

Moderation is about:

Being conscious of why and when you drink
Learning how to enjoy alcohol in smaller, more intentional amounts
Building new coping skills that don’t rely on wine, beer, or spirits

It’s a shift from reactivity (“I need a drink”) to proactivity (“I choose whether to drink”).

When done properly, moderation can lead to better sleep, improved relationships, more energy, and a deeper sense of self-respect.

Step 1: Discover Your “Why”

All meaningful change starts with a why.

Before cutting down, take time to ask:

Why do I drink?
What do I want my life to feel like instead?
Who am I when I’m alcohol-free?

Your reasons may include wanting to feel calmer, sleep better, lose weight, or become a more present parent or partner. Write them down — they’ll anchor you when temptation arises.

💬 From the book: “When we connect to our deeper motivations, we move from external pressure to internal purpose.”

Suggested Exercise:

Create a “Why Wall.”

On a notepad or phone note, list 5 reasons you want to drink less. Keep it visible. When urges arise, remind yourself of the bigger picture.

Step 2: Assess Where You Are Now

Before you decide where you’re going, you need to know where you’re starting.

The Alcohol Use Disorder Spectrum — explained in detail in my book — helps you identify your current relationship with alcohol.

Ask yourself:

Do I often drink more than I intend?
Have I tried to cut back before, but struggled?
Do I ever use alcohol to cope with stress, boredom, or loneliness?
Do I wake up with regret after drinking?

If you answered “yes” to 2–4 of these, moderation is likely suitable for you.

🧩 Remember: This process isn’t about labelling yourself — it’s about understanding your patterns so you can change them with compassion and awareness.

Step 3: Tune in to Your Core Values

When you live in alignment with your values, drinking naturally becomes less important.

Ask yourself:

What really matters to me?
How does drinking align (or misalign) with those values?

Maybe health, family, freedom, or personal growth top your list. When alcohol conflicts with those, it creates a natural motivation to change.

In my book, I introduce “The Values Compass” which is a practical exercise that helps you make value-driven decisions instead of emotion-driven ones. I have visualized the compass below which should help you to think about each value that is important to you and how your drinking effects each value. If there are others in your list then add those in as well.

“The more you live according to your values, the less you’ll need to escape from them.”

Step 4: Identify Your Triggers

Triggers are emotional, social, or environmental cues that make you crave alcohol.

Common examples can include:

Emotional triggers: stress, anxiety, loneliness
Social triggers: certain friends, parties, Friday evenings
Situational triggers: work stress, celebrations, boredom

You might not be aware of the triggers that cause you to over drink. So you learn how to manage your triggers lets record create a record of the situations you drink and your feelings around them. Create a “Trigger Diary” for the next week, each time you drink, note the following,

Where you were
Who you were with
How you felt before and after drinking

Patterns will emerge, especially if you keep the diary going for a few weeks. Remember awareness is the first step to taking back control.

Step 5: Set Clear Limits and Boundaries

If you want to drink less without quitting, you need structure.

The Alcohol Use Disorder Spectrum — explained in detail in my book — helps you identify your current relationship with alcohol.

In my book I suggest starting with the UK Chief Medical Officer’s guidelines which is No more than 14 units of alcohol per week, spread over 3 or more days.

That’s roughly:

6 glasses of wine (175ml, 13%)
or 6 pints of beer (4%)

Now it's time to write your own Moderation Plan. In this plan you can list out,

How many alcohol-free days will I have this week?
On what days will I allow myself to drink?
How many drinks will I have?
What’s my drink of choice?
How will I track it?

Tracking is powerful. Apps like Drink Less or DrinkAware make this easy.

Or you can use a simple journal: write your planned units and tick them off each day.

Step 6: Take Regular Breaks from Alcohol

Abstinence isn’t the goal, but breaks are your secret weapon.

Even a 7-day or 30-day break helps reset your tolerance, improve sleep, and remind you how good it feels to wake up clear-headed.

In my book, this is covered in Step Six: Take Breaks from Alcohol, with practical guidance on managing cravings and rediscovering joy without a drink in hand.

Graphic to show what happens to your body when you take a break from alcohol

Step 7: Deal with Lapses — Not with Shame

A lapse doesn’t mean failure. It’s feedback.

Everyone slips sometimes. The key is what you do next.

Instead of beating yourself up, pause and reflect:

What triggered this?
What was I feeling beforehand?
What can I learn from it?

This turns setbacks into opportunities for self-awareness.

In Step Seven: Deal with Any Lapses and Relapses, the book introduces the “Lapse Learning Exercise” — a structured reflection tool that helps you bounce back quickly and confidently.

“It’s only a stumble — no need to crumble.”

Step 8: Rewire Your Brain with Hypnotherapy & Mindset Shifts

One of the most powerful tools for long-term moderation is hypnotherapy, which I use extensively in my work with my clients. Hypnotherapy helps quieten the part of your brain that associates alcohol with comfort or pleasure — and replaces it with healthier beliefs, like “I can relax without wine.”

There are many ways hypnotherapy helps in alcohol moderation some of which include,

Reduces cravings and habitual urges
Boosts self-confidence and motivation
Creates new neural associations between calmness and alcohol-free living
Reframes subconscious thoughts about stress, pleasure, and reward

Step 9: Build a Life That Supports Moderation

I have found that the more fulfilling your life becomes, the less space alcohol occupies in your mind each day. Moderation thrives in balanced life, when your life contains both nurturing and rewarding activities that meet the emotional needs alcohol once filled.

In order to shift the focus away from alcohol based activities try incorporating activities and hobbies that don't involve alcohol such as,

Try a exercise class or yoga
Meditation or journaling
Meet friends at a coffee shop instead of a bar
Creative hobbies like painting or learning a musical instrument
Self-care rituals (baths, reading, time in nature)

Table on nurturing vs depleting activities

Step 10: Create Your “Future Focus Map”

The final piece is your "Drink Less Plan" is to have a plan for the future.

I believe to keep up with any health habitat you have to have a destination in mind about how you want your life to look like in the future. I want you to do a visualization exercise that helps you design the life you want to live in six months, one year, or five years from now.

Imagine yourself as the healthiest, happiest version of you.

What are you doing daily?
How do you handle stress?
What does your relationship with alcohol look like?

When you picture your desired future vividly, your subconscious begins to work toward it automatically.

Example of a Future Focus Map for Alcohol Moderation

Final Thoughts: A Kinder Way to Change

Drinking less doesn’t have to be a battle of willpower or a lifetime of abstinence. It’s a journey of awareness, compassion, and freedom.

By applying the steps I have outline above such as identifying your triggers, setting clear goals, nurturing your wellbeing, and harnessing the power of hypnotherapy — you can build a life where you drink in balance and live with confidence.

Your journey begins not with a dramatic “last drink,” but with a simple choice: the choice to drink less and live well

📘 Want to Go Deeper?

Explore my book Ten Steps to Drink Less and Live Well — your complete guide to freedom from overdrinking, self-kindness, and transformation.

👉 Get the Book
👉 Try the Online Program
👉Book a Private Consultation with me to personally coach you